I’ve spent most of today buried in schoolwork because I’m convinced my GPA is going to make or break my possibility of getting a job in several months. And I’ve also spent a lot of today checking my phone every 5 minutes in case I get a text or call (or Snapchat, Facebook message, Twitter mention… you know) from one of my friends, asking me to do something better. I spent a good chunk of this morning talking about all of the plans I have in the coming weekends, because right now just doesn’t seem like it’s fun enough.
…and all of those things seemed perfectly fine to do until I realized that in the midst of all of it, what I’m actually doing is waiting for something better. A job that makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something, a relationship that primarily serves me, plans that make me seem like an exciting person, and so on.
This past Thursday at Cornerstone, our campus director asked us if we really believed that Jesus was the best that we would ever have — if we really believed that Jesus is better than anything else in the world, or if He was actually second-best to whatever we were seeking at the time. I scribbled the question down in my journal hoping to think over it at another time, but instead the question burned in the back of my brain in the days to follow — the reality is that there are a lot of things I’m waiting for (even with the confidence that God will take care of them) because I’m convinced that they will make life better.
I think this is where our faith gets dangerously close to not being genuine anymore. “Jesus is great,” we think, “but there are certainly things He could rearrange to make my life go more as I’ve planned.” Suddenly, the Lord’s blessings are less a reflection of Him and more a series of individual idols that we worship. The perfect job goes from an example of God’s grace to what we pour our heart and soul into so that we don’t lose it. Relationships become less a picture of God’s love for us and more a process of becoming desperate for someone else’s attention. And our plans? I think many of us can attest to the fact that our “big picture” view never seems to align with what God has planned, and that makes us really uncomfortable.
The problem with all of this waiting around for something better is that nothing will ever come that is better than what Jesus has already given us. There will be times when we feel like something better has come along, but it won’t last for long. And for me, all of my waiting for something better leaves me sold on a deal, not a Savior. It gradually works on my mind until I begin to believe that God’s blessings in my life are of greater importance than what He did on the cross. As you can probably imagine, it’s all downhill from there.
There have been many times in the past in which God has had to pull me out of my trance of waiting for something better, and I know He’ll do it as many times as He has to. But that process hurts, and I don’t want to fall that low again when I know better. I know that Jesus is better than anything, and that gives me hope when life is hard and when it’s good, because Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. And when I think about the overwhelming, truly unfathomable love of God and how He has called me to a life spent worshiping Him, what on earth am I waiting for? There will never be anything better than this — no job, no relationship, no master plan. Because Jesus is better, and praise God that He is.