when fearless.

Well friends, despite all of my efforts to not be “that bride,” I have found myself completely wrapped up in the wedding planning process these past few months: from menu selections to vendor meetings to seating charts, it has been so fun and so overwhelming all at the same time.

Anyway, that brings me here. It is officially wedding week, and I have decided to take this week to not worry about wedding details and shift my focus to the amazing blessing that is about to take place in my life this weekend. It was just a few days ago that I was sitting in my room, writing in my journal, and I realized that my childhood has passed, I’ve finished college, the “dating” period of my life is over, and now God has brought me to this incredible point in my life. I get to become one with another person — we’ll get to start family traditions and raise children and learn how to love someone even as they change and grow. And as you could imagine, feeling the weight of this realization brought on every emotion: sadness that I am leaving this stage of life, joy that I get to marry someone as wonderful as Jordan, excitement for all that surrounds my wedding day, and so much more. The thought that really triumphed above all the others, though? I have not prayed about this enough.

I don’t know that I could ever look at this and say that I had prayed through it “enough.” Jordan and I felt a sense of peace about this decision long before we ever got engaged, and there is no doubt in my mind that the Lord has had His hand in this from the very beginning. But nothing in this world — no matter how confident we may feel about it — is immune to the sin and temptation that the world will throw at it if we are not armed in prayer. I don’t say this because I adhere to it like I should, I say it because when I look at my life and I think about all that is ahead, I have no idea how marriage exists outside of the Christian faith, or how it’s possible to enter into the reality of marriage without a picture of the cross before us.

When I think about what inspires me to love Jordan through challenges and arguments and even the annoying everyday processes that we disagree on, I know that it’s only because I can look at him and know that I have promised to love him the way the Lord has loved me. I have the perfect example of what it looks like to love someone unconditionally because God provided us all the epitome of selfless love when he sent Jesus to die for our sins. And I will certainly not perfect it — I won’t even come close — but that’s what makes prayer so much more important.

So that’s what I hope to reflect on this week, and let’s be real: it’s going to take some discipline on my part when all I really want to do is pick out activities for our honeymoon and get my nails done. But this is the last week in my life that I have the opportunity to look at myself as one person separate from someone else, and I hope that I will use this time to reflect on all the Lord has done in my life during that time, and ask him for abundant blessings and challenges as we move into a new phase of life.

I’M GETTING MARRIED THIS WEEK, Y’ALL! Thank you so much for showering us with love throughout this process, and please pray for us this week!

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