I wish there were words to adequately kick off this blog post, I really do… because typically, you want your writing to start off with a calm lead-up, a gentle opening that carries your beloved readers easily into the crux of what you want to say. But here, in this moment:
WE ARE HAVING A BABY GIRL!
The gravity, the joy, the praise to God that comes with this miracle just can’t be “softly” stated. So there it is.
I honestly didn’t expect that finding out if we were having a boy or a girl would be so life-changing for me — I mean that in the most genuine way, because I knew that I would be overjoyed at the idea of either, and so truly knowing one way or the other didn’t seem like it would be a monumental moment for me. But wow, was I wrong — it’s like a life I could only envision in black-and-white before now has color, and to see and trust that God had always planned for us to be parents to a daughter long before she came into our world is nothing short of incredible.
So this one is for you, Baby Girl Paschal: to our first baby, the one who will have to endure our many “firsts” as parents before we ever get it right. I can’t wait to hold you for the first time, and for every time after – when you’re happy, when you’re sad, when you get older and realize that hugs from mom never get old (at least, they never have for me). I can’t wait to watch your personality unfold and blossom, and for you to see and understand just how amazing it is to be a woman of God.
As the first baby of my family, my heart already goes out to you as I think about the weight of what it means for you to be the oldest of however many children God plans for us. It is an amazing privilege and a heavy burden all at once, but what brings me joy is that God is preparing you even now for the path before you.
I pray for strength as your mom to be willing to watch you grow, even when it means watching you struggle. To see you understand the beauty in being a woman that embraces her emotional make-up with a balance of vulnerability and grace, while boldly stepping forward into the life God has created for you. I pray that I’ll understand what it means to be a faithful steward of the gift God has given us in you, our sweet baby girl.
I can’t wait for you to grow up in a family where there is so much love. For you to become just as smitten over your daddy as I am. For you to meet the inspiring women that you will call your grandmother and aunts. Baby Girl, your heart will be so full… and I pray that never changes.
As someone who has found a best friend in her mom, I am beaming with excitement at the blessing God has given me in a daughter. I promise I will do my best to treasure every moment, even on the hard days. Because you, my love, are everything we could have hoped for — and so much more.
…and in this moment, that’s all I can really articulate. I pray that when the glory of all things pink fades and real life sets in with a little one, that the Lord will be the strength of my heart and my portion forever. But as I remember saying when Jordan and I got engaged: For now, let’s be giddy — and praise the Lord for it every day.